Monthly Archives: August 2011

Office Birthdays



Office birthdays are a delicate dance. We usually have one party a month, for all the birthdays of that month. Group parties seeeeeeem like a good idea, but without designating one special person, no one knows how to proceed.

First, everyone pretends not to notice the cake, because they’re so busy chatting and catching up. I, however, have a laser-guided focus because my great weakness is that if there is food, and a group of people, I will always, ALWAYS panic about not having enough to eat.

THEN, you have to try and get a piece for yourself. Etiquette dictates that the birthday person gets the first slice, but with no one person, it becomes an awkward shuffle of “who is going to go first, and look like a jerk/pig?” The trick is to try and sneak your way in, snag a slice and retreat back into the crowd before anyone sees.

AND THEN, if you work in MY office and have yourself an ice cream cake (a far superior choice), you’ll have to fight off the lactose-intolerant production assistants who “just want a bite – just for the taste of it!!”

This is a monthly occurrence in my life.